Today is a sad day...
Today is the day we are losing Gran. Right now I sit at home with a miserable cold and they took gran off her respirator in the hospital.
Two days ago Gran was nice to Tim for the first time. Shocked the pants off of both of us. Monday morning he came over, we were going to have breakfast, do some shopping, get ready for christmas. So he was here, I made breakfast and we ate and then left. When we came back Gran was sitting in her red chair and got up. She looked at Tim for the first time and instead of glaring at him like a serial killer and asking me in a loud stage wisper who that mans is, she smiled her gap tooth smile and said hello.
I was really tired and not feeling well so I laid down. I heard Gran wandering about like she was on patrol (which was odd for 1 in the afternoon, but not the end of the world) and then fell asleep. When I woke up a couple hours later I couldn't find Gran.
She wasn't in the yard. She wasn't in the kitchen, she wasn't in the red chair. So I opened her bedroom door and there was gran.
Side note. I am 32. In all of my years, I can honestly say that I can NEVER remember my grandmother being in bed during the day. Ever. Not at all. It just is NOT done. The woman would get up, put her clothes on, fix her face and be up for the day. On that note, I don't really ever remember her getting sick, but that's another story.
Anyway, she was in bed, covers drawn over her in a fetal position. I was immediately concerned.
Gran are you ok?
No, I'm sick.
What's wrong Gran?
I'm sick. My stomach hurts.
Gran get up, lets take you to the doctor.
NO. I'm not going to the doctor.
Then she rolled over and put her back to me. Stubborn to the end!
Gran. You are sick. You need to go to the doctor. I will call an ambulance.
Anna I am not going to the doctor!
So being the dutiful grandaughter I am, I called my mom and said YOU come over here and deal with her. So my mom did. She ended up having to call 911 and they took her by ambulance to the hospital.
She had a hiatial hernia and her stomach was literally twisted. They decided to do surgery and by that time her stomach had ruptured. Her blood pressure was very very low. And then her kidneys failed.
As a family, it was decided to just make her comfortable. She is 91. She has lived a very long life.
I think Gran knew it was time. The next discussion we were going to have was assisted living. She needed a lot more care than I could give her. I was starting to be worn thin, and my mom as well. I think the Assisted Living conversation would have left a deep and painful rift in our family. We always promised that she was going to stay in her house, and we would do all we could do to keep her here.
She got that wish. She lived in her house til the very end.
That was my gift to Gran. That she was able to live her last days in her own house.
I think Tim and our baby (for those of you who don't yet know, I'm pregnant) is Grans gift to me. I have been blessed with my very own family.
Bye Gran. I love you.