Go to Hell Kenna!!

Everyone keeps telling me that gran is slowing down. She IS getting weaker, and her trips out of the chair are fewer and slower, and she spends more time sleeping in the chair....but this morning my mother said that even her voice is weaker....and I disagree.

She is NOT losing her feisty ways. She is NOT losing her voice. She still manages to yell at me every day! Recently the weather turned cooler, so keeping the house open at night to cool it off was unnecessary. So when she'd close it up, I just let her, because it was cool and i was fine. Well, indian summer has hit us, and it's not that way. Now when I get home from work I fling the WHOLE house open and then I turn on the whole house fan. So yesterday I flung open the windows in the den, turned on the fan, continued into the living room and gran starts

KENNA TURN OFF THAT FAN

Why gran? It's hot.

I CAN'T HEAR MY TV PROGRAM, TURN OFF THAT FAN

Nope. Its hot. So *I* go in and turn up her tv.

she seems mollified for a minute.

Then harriet the spy hears a plane, scurries outside to see what it is, and then comes back in, realizes it's getting dark and starts batting down the hatches.

I open them.

You know this game.

Fast forward to this morning....she goes on patrol outside and likes to pick flowers. She brings them in and puts them in drinking glasses all over the house. I have to go around behind her two days later and throw them away, but no big, they make her happy so whateves.

Today she brings in a bunch of roses, heads into the kitchen to cut the stems and I'm watching her. She cuts the stems with my paring knife and I cringe. I can't get her to switch to a cheapo steak knife on the woody stems and I mentally remind myself to sharpen the knife. Then she wipes it with a disgusting scouring pad and puts it BACK in the drawer. No water, no soap, no clean towel, just this disgusting pad I use with cleanser to clean the bottom of the sink when it gets grimy.

GROSS

so I wander in behind her, open the drawer and take out the knife she uses. She looks at me and asks what I'm doing.

I'm cleaning the knife you just used.

I WIPED THAT KNIFE

Yes gran, you did WIPE the knife. But it's not clean. I am NOT leaving dirty dishes in the cabinet. It's DIRTY you used it to cut flowers from OUTSIDE. It is NOT CLEAN.

I WIPED THAT KNIFE

You WIPED it with a gross pad and no water and no soap. IT IS NOT CLEAN

OH GO TO HELL KENNA

Excuse me?

I SAID GO TO HELL.

Oh gran....I'm already here. I live with you.

She looked at me dumfounded and stalked off. Guess she didn't have a retort.

Then she thought about it a second.

KENNA DON"T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

I didn't. I simply cleaned the DIRTY knife you put away.

GO TO HELL KENNA.

Oh gran. We covered that already.

and I laughed.....welcome to Saturday!